Chilaxin'

It's funny to think that just three weeks ago, my life was all up in knots. Oregon vs. UT, how am I going to make this work, will I be able to stay at my job if I stay??? Now, it all seems like a fond memory. It even gives me the warm fuzzies to think back on this entire spring.

The last three weeks have been some of the most enjoyable I've had in many years. First, there was the weekend in Oldenburg, TX - outside of Burton (not that it helps to know that) - where 24 hours passed like an entire week. I learned how to shoot a 12-gauge shotgun; fished; saw the symphony and watched the cows eat grass.

Then, all last week, I spent in Charleston, SC with my entire immediate family. It was a very special reunion - as we don't get to do that very often. My nephew and nieces are now old enough to be more engaging and talk to me and be silly. My parents were having so much fun with all the activity in their house. We had a fireworks display that was most likely illegal and definitely dangerous.

And, for the first time in several years, I attended a family reunion without feeling left out. I am the last one in my family to get married or have kids, and that has always bothered me until now.

Which brings me to the ultimate point of my post. Post 30 years of age, I have really slowed down on my expectations of life and learned to focus on what is reality and what makes me happy outside of anything society or people who care about me might think.

All throughout my 20s, I was eager. Eager to date, eager to get serious, eager to get engaged, eager to make good money, eager to get a better job. I was never quite satisfied, and I never really considered if the relationships I were in, or the jobs I had, really made me happy. I was too concerned with checking off the boxes. It's no surprise to me that I dated men who were not the best for me, but I stuck it out anyway. Why wouldn't you, when your biggest goal is to get married and have kids. You would do anything to reach your biggest goal, wouldn't you?

Well, it took until now to have this realization: If you're not right with yourself first, there is no way you can be right for someone else. And, because I was so eager to get so much done by the time I turned 30, I forgot to reflect on whether I enjoyed the journey.

Now, as a 30-something-year-old, I am no longer in a hurry. Just at the age everyone says you'll have an early-life crisis or feel the pressures to get hitched and have kids, I have finally decided that I enjoy chillin'. Just easin' down the road of life, and loving every step of the way.