A Day of Doubting

It was a day like any other - except that the weather was go-ah-or-geous! And gorgeous days are appreciated in the deep heat of the southwesterly place which will be for now unmentioned :)

But, it was unlike other days because it was also ordinary and filled with insecure moments. Maybe it was the tequila I drank the night before, or the crawfish I ate, but I didn't wake up with my usual sense of excitement and eagerness. Rather, I woke up with a queasiness in my stomach and in my head. I realized I had to put on my dorky volunteer outfit for the hospital, and it all seemed routine. Not like my first day at the hospital when it was all excitement and adrenaline.

This is a snap-shot of a day from my future. I wake up early, feeling queasy from lack of sleep and stress, I put on my scrub pants, one leg at a time like every day, and I head out the door without a morning run or even cereal. I am thinking to myself, the luster of wearing scrubs to work every day has worn off.

Today, my feelings reflect a microcosm of what medical school and medicine will feel like in the future. Today, I really had serious doubts about my abilities and willingness to be poor and budget conscious again. Today, I felt uncertain and I know it will go away and I know I can remember these times for comparison to the certain feelings I will have as I make my way through this process.

Red Toes

I've got me some red toes this week. Pedicures are one expense, I will not be sacrificing when I go back to school. A woman has got to have her priorities.

Makes me wish I had a great Digital SLR camera to show them to you. Recently, I came into some money. Money, I will be setting aside for school. But, it's not enough to pay for the whole thing, so I am going to take a smidge of the money and use it to purchase a nice camera.

Hopefully, I will have pictures up very soon. Blogs are pretty boring without them.